Although I didn’t speak to Grandfather often because of our language differences, I know that he always listened and cared about the people around him. He was a man of few words, but I found that he was perceptive and caring for the people around him.

I remember one time, when visiting Hong Kong, I offhandedly mentioned to my mother that I wanted to eat sushi. A couple of nights later, Grandfather surprised us and took us out to dinner at a sushi place. Another time, when we were seeing him off on his flight from Canada to Hong Kong late at night, I remember looking at a nearby coffee stand selling donuts. Grandfather noticed and treated us all to hot chocolate and donuts.

In the past few years, I haven’t been able to physically see him. Even before the pandemic, our extended family would video-call to spend time and chat with him. During the crisis, we started video calling him more frequently, and leading up to his passing it became a nightly event.

One of my favourite things to do during these calls was to try to greet Grandfather in a way that would make him laugh. I’d come into the camera’s view from strange angles or I’d move close to the camera so that his view was zoomed in close to my nose. It was our own special way of saying hello, and I’m glad I could make him smile.

Grandfather lived a long and full life and accomplished many things. He was a skilled businessman, a hard-working breadwinner, and a devout Christian. I will forever be grateful for his generosity to sponsor dinners for the entire extended family. Often my friends would be surprised at how close I was to my cousins. I always told them that our grandfather wanted us to be together, share memories, and help one another. This is the kind of man I aspire to hopefully be for my own grandchildren someday.

Through us, Chan Lap Lai leaves behind a living legacy of his generosity and love.

Hadrian